why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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