Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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