He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
