but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
