Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
