My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
