proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
