My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
