Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
