I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i think i have two assholes
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
