before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
