I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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