I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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