I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
