dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Randomize
