i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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