if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
