are you still at the devil's house?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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