I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
