just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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