dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize