some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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