dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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