You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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