This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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