Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
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