we're chasing vodka with high fives
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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