There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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