What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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