she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
