bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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