I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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