We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
