She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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