I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize