I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
