there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
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I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
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People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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