Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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