somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
