yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
