is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize