We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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