"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
