Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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