I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
