Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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