ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
