i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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