Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize