she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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