so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize