so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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