U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
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Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
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Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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