She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Drunk is not a location!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize