Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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