today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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