I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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