I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
im holly from the hills drunk
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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