I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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