I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
